Common Disease Number 1:Hippyphilatis

You never think it could happen to you. You here about it in the news, see it on your T.V. And then one day, you wake up, look in the mirror, and there it is. You remember the night before...the smell of incense, the roar of out of rhythm drums still reverberating in your skull...is that patchouli you smell? And then it hits you like an 80 year old grandma driving a Cadillac Fleetwood on cruise control. It rear ends you and sends you sky rocketing into the unsteady realms of disillusion and denial. You have turned...and there is no turning back. You may spend years seeking the answer...the cure to end all cures...a release from this mess you are in. But like most sufferers Hippyphilatis...you are the cause....the vector of control...and only you have the power to free yourself of the habits leading up to the inevitable symptoms of a disease that affects upwards of 40% of developed nations youth ages 12-28 every year.
Symptoms can include:
A strong bad taste in the mouth for all things "institutional"
This can take the form of: dropping out of school, running away from home,
refusing to pay taxes, accumulating credit card debt, refusal to "just get a job",
Symptoms vary from person to person and demographically and may also include depleting the trust fund your parents set up to pay for your non-existent college education and is considered the most harmful to people and the environment combined.
Other symptoms:
Taking unprofessional life advice from above mentioned trust fund depleting infectious agents of disease resulting in complete loss of any sensibilities or desire to better the world through one's
actions
Belief in unscientific data, conspiracy theories and false mystics
Inflated ego
Vampire like soul sucking abilities
Desire to take others down the path of least contribution to society with you
Poor hygiene
Bad decisions
Not being able to face yourself in the mirror
If you or anyone you know has ever been victim to the above mentioned symptoms and/or infected by someone like this in your life, do not lose hope. Remember....you make your mistakes...and though it is normal to want to be accepted, to fit in, to feel like a part of something, and to be a big bad rebel for peace on earth....you can do it without being a slack ass hippy fuck.